so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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