His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
