Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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