please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
