All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i think i just lost a toe
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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