i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
