wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We're too hungover to prance.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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