We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
