I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Found the puke drawer
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
