I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
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Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.