wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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