all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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