Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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