what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
As shirtless as possible
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
