Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need to wash the frat house off of me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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