I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize