The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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