I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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