He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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