I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
me + whiskey = a bad person
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
