It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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