i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
last night I used snow as a chaser
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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