he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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