We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
