They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
