I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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