He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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