I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
