Screwed.edu
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
