dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
