Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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