There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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