a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize