Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't turn off my feet"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
