I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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