I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
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I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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