that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
