"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
