Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
