You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
