I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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