Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
