I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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