Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
