I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
