It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
