i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
