I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
