Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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