I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
