You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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