Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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