Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That's when you crack a 10am beer
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
