Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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