His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
