Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
