I'm eating all of the evidence.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
